Facing the Myriads of Brotherhood

Siblings are meant to be close to one another. Siblings are supposed to have squabbles and later on patch things up like there was no dispute at all in the very first place. Siblings are deemed to have understood each other’s behaviour and reactions when it comes to dealing with difficult situations and myriads of problems. Yet the spat continues and the misunderstandings pile on.

Truth is, it is a rather daunting task to really understand one another, even though we are supposed to be borne from within the same womb. Brothers and sisters can never face the same direction and have the same thoughts. There will always be a room for counter arguments and there will always be a black or grey sheep whichever you look at it.

I started off being the fortunate one – having been born the fifth out of a family of five. The last one out, so they say. It went off rather well, with everyone wanting a nice piece out of me. All advices were good and ought to be heard. All things done are for the benefit of the youngest of the family. Being the one who came out 10 years after the previous one – God sure has His own reasons for such a scheme.

Come adolescence, I had the enviable advantage of learning and absorbing things much earlier than my peers – having 3 growing brothers and a sister whose teenage years seemed to last very long. There was the innate exposure to things considered taboo for an underage child, recognition of unnecessary four or more letter words, and of course the honour of being appointed the official “coolie” or “custodian of secrets” to all things vice.

Not long thereafter, adulthood came into the picture and things were no longer as rosy as before.

Suddenly, little by little, life’s little irrelevancies began to create a crack in the wall of brethren. Intimacy began to drift further and further. Fun and games were no longer the vocabularies of the day. Life turned out to be troublesome, worrisome, and it seemed as though everyone is having a problem of their own. Some financial, some marital. Some manageable, some affecting others in one way or another.

In the name of brotherhood, one cannot help but to sympathize for another. But to what extent? By all means necessary? Or by means within means?

Reaching out for others require reaching in to oneself. Understanding the plight of others could mean prior self discovery. Looking at the clouds hovering another person’s garden may involve mending to one’s backyard beforehand.

Some may say, what are brothers for? Hey, doesn’t charity begin at home? If you don’t look after yourself, who is going to look after you?

Being a Malay

I was having my usual lunch with a couple of my Malay and Chinese acquintances at a Mamak Restaurant nearby (it was actually an Indian Outlet, but people can't quite tell the difference between an Indian Stall and a Mamak Stall, so they often labelled them as one).

It is so irony that amongst us, I was the closest to being a Malay per se. Another Malay chap could not quite be considered a Malay because of his dressing, earrings, and mannerisms, which hailed from the West. And the Chinese fella knows nuts about Cantonese or Mandarin. He speaks English at home and Rojak Manglish with the rest of us.

I was suddenly transported to the realms of a poem written by the late Dato' Usman Awang on Malay. Here goes: -

Melayu - Usman Awang

Melayu itu orang yang bijaksana
Nakalnya bersulam jenaka
Budi bahasanya tidak terkira
Kurang ajarnya tetap santun
Jika menipu pun masih bersopan
Bila mengampu bijak beralas tangan.

Melayu itu berani jika bersalah
Kecut takut kerana benar,
Janji simpan di perut
Selalu pecah di mulut,
Biar mati adat
Jangan mati anak.

Melayu di tanah Semenanjung luas maknanya:
Jawa itu Melayu, Bugis itu Melayu
Banjar juga disebut Melayu, Minangkabau
memang Melayu,
Keturunan Acheh adalah Melayu,
Jakun dan Sakai asli Melayu,
Arab dan Pakistani, semua Melayu
Mamak dan Malbari serap ke Melayu
Malah mua'alaf bertakrif Melayu

Dalam sejarahnya
Melayu itu pengembara lautan
Melorongkan jalur sejarah zaman
Begitu luas daerah sempadan
Sayangnya kini segala kehilangan

Melayu itu kaya falsafahnya
Kias kata bidal pusaka
Akar budi bersulamkan daya
Gedung akal laut bicara

Malangnya Melayu itu kuat bersorak
Terlalu ghairah pesta temasya
Sedangkan kampung telah tergadai
Sawah sejalur tinggal sejengkal
tanah sebidang mudah terjual

Meski telah memiliki telaga
Tangan masih memegang tali
Sedang orang mencapai timba.
Berbuahlah pisang tiga kali
Melayu itu masih bermimpi
Walaupun sudah mengenal universiti
Masih berdagang di rumah sendiri.

Berkelahi cara Melayu
Menikam dengan pantun
Menyanggah dengan senyum
Marahnya dengan diam
Merendah bukan menyembah
Meninggi bukan melonjak.

Watak Melayu menolak permusuhan
Setia dan sabar tiada sempadan
Tapi jika marah tak nampak telinga
Musuh dicari ke lubang cacing
Tak dapat tanduk telinga dijinjing
Maruah dan agama dihina jangan
Hebat amuknya tak kenal lawan

Berdamai cara Melayu indah sekali
Silaturrahim hati yang murni
Maaf diungkap senantiasa bersahut
Tangan diulur sentiasa bersambut
Luka pun tidak lagi berparut

Baiknya hati Melayu itu tak terbandingkan
Selagi yang ada sanggup diberikan
Sehingga tercipta sebuah kiasan:
"Dagang lalu nasi ditanakkan
Suami pulang lapar tak makan
Kera di hutan disusu-susukan
Anak di pangkuan mati kebuluran"

Bagaimanakah Melayu abad dua puluh satu
Masihkan tunduk tersipu-sipu?
Jangan takut melanggar pantang
Jika pantang menghalang kemajuan;
Jangan segan menentang larangan
Jika yakin kepada kebenaran;
Jangan malu mengucapkan keyakinan
Jika percaya kepada keadilan

Jadilah bangsa yang bijaksana
Memegang tali memegang timba
Memiliki ekonomi mencipta budaya
Menjadi tuan di negara Merdeka

Usman Awang
26 NOVEMBER 1999

I am...

I am...



The sum of all my wisdom and experiences, plus a little bit of my heritage.

The Balik Kampung Fever

Malaysians all over have this one very peculiar yet similar trait, and it's been going on ever since we've been introduced to the super efficient (so-called) highways and even prior to Cuti-Cuti Malaysia... it's the "Balik Kampung" craze - a terminology often used for city slickers / folks who return to their hometown, hoping to get away from the hustle and bustle of the city life, a customary tradition especially during the school holidays and long weekends.

I happened to be one of them... last week.

A journey to Kuantan and Pekan was already in my mind since the last three weeks. And knowing for sure that there was this thing called Pekan Fest over the last weekend, I had made reservations for a hotel room at the MS Garden Hotel, Kuantan quite some time ago. A good move considering the fact that 2 - 3 days later, when my brother wanted to book a hotel room at the same hotel, all rooms were fully booked.

FYI, I am not a Pahang boy. I was never into anything Pahang. When Selangor beat the hell out of Pahang in the Malaysia Cup a couple of years back I was elated as hell.

But since both of my parents are from Pekan, Pahang, the Mat Kilau State sort of grew on me. I made it a point to return to Pekan and Kuantan to visit most of my relatives at least once in 3 months. Quite frequent, I think, considering the fact that my parents are here in Damansara, my grandparents are no longer around and there is actually nothing much left for me in Pahang.

Frankly speaking, I prefer to visit Terengganu - for its luscious sea view, cleanliness and that "something" that one could only feel when he or she steps into the borders of Terengganu via Kemaman.

However, I noticed that over the years, that little town called Pekan has grown and has developed into an interesting place. A town that was once without any traffic lights, now can boast the fact that during Pekan Fest that day, there was a tinge of traffic congestion. And goodness gracious me, there tonnes of traffic lights on my way to Pekan. Just like a good friend of mine used to say to me, "you want to know how well a place have developed, check out the traffic". In this case, check out the no. of traffic lights...

Indeed, that is the price we have to pay for modernisation. Everybody seems to be owning a car. And sometimes I feel as though everybody is driving his or her car all at one time.

Which was why the return journey from Pekan to Kuala Lumpur, which normally took me about 2 1/2 hours, extended to more than 4 hours - all because of the ever so popular connotation that "if you return home on a late Sunday afternoon during the school holidays or a long weekend, you'll get stuck like mad on a highway". Bearing in mind - it was on a HIGHWAY. Highways are supposed to be the answer to all traffic problems, yet highways too could not find no solution to traffic congestion. The back to back crawl went all the way from Gombak Toll to somewhere in Karak / Sungai Dua. And there we were, all four of us, in the middle of Karak, thinking that let it be an accident that caused the long crawl, rather than "I should have returned home much earlier to avoid this jam".

A fun-filled weekend turned sour just because of one little issue.

Now, perhaps, the next time I feel like returning to Pekan or Kuantan, I think I may have to resort for any other days apart from School Holidays and Long Weekends. Or perhaps, since the highways are often jammed, maybe I should revert to using the old routes - curvy, longer, one-passageway, but probably less cars on the road.

I've never tried those actually. Perhaps one of these days I should...